Winter Fashion Update (If Winter Would Just Get Here)

With record warm temps hovering around 50 on and off for weeks, we are in fashion limbo here on the East Coast. "High of 57 and rainy today," we're told, so what the heck are we supposed to wear? (Hopefully no one said flip-flops.) But seriously, what about all those cute styles we had envisioned for winter? Well, if winter ever comes, here's my hit list for '07.
Turtlenecks: If it were actually cold, I'd be wearing any of the dozen turtleneck sweaters I have tucked away from Banana Republic and various thrift stores. I'm talking about fitted turtlenecks (cotton or knit), none of that oversized-neck, elongated, often-seen-with-boots-over jeans business. These a) make you look skinny when worn in a dark color, b) look great with skirts and boots, c) look great with jeans and any kind of footwear and d) look cool with some kind of long, beaded necklace or pendant on a chain. Those fitted turtleneck dresses look pretty hot, too, but please don't wear them with leggings, a wide belt AND ankle boots because the '80s are OVER. I know, I know, you can tell me the '70s are over, but that'll fall on deaf ears;)
Suede (or faux-suede) accessories: These are all over the place in all colors, jewel tones, gray, gloves, flats, boots, bags, bags, etc. Love it! Just tote them on a day that doesn't look like rain.
Quilted overcoats: Yes, it's true, everyone has one. They're being sold in every store this year, with much less emphasis on traditional wool coats. That's because they're all-weather, they're warm, AND for subway riders, they're light enough to carry on your arm when it gets hot. The nice thing is there's quite a variety out there (hooded, long, short, fur-trimmed, etc.), so you don't have to look like part of the mob, unless you live in New York and you're wearing a black one (my mistake!).
Boots: Just when you think you're tired of them, find a new jazzy pair and keep on truckin'. Rock the boots with everything and don't be shy. In particular, there are many more flat boots out in stores than there were last year, and those are way more conducive to livin' than heels.
Crocheted caps (and scarfs, gloves, etc.): They're not just for dreads anymore! Pull that mop of hair into a stretch cap or let it all hang out Blossom(gulp!)-style. Yes, and try one with a brim! A good hat should cover your ears, so stay warm!

The Ins and Outs of Fall 2006

Now that it is officially fall and milder weather is moving in, it’s time to reassess the wardrobe, or just plain “assess,” as my mom would say. “David, why don’t you go ‘assess’ the contents of the fridge?” she’ll tell him, hoping he’ll throw out some three-day old tuna salad to make room for tomorrow night’s London broil. Similarly, it’s time to separate the tuna salad from the beef, so to speak. Therefore, I asked readers and friends to contribute to a list of unofficial ins and outs for fall style. Not everyone agreed, particularly on the painful subject of leggings, but many seemed to think this season would bring darker colors, military-inspired jackets, pencil skirts and red lips, perhaps calling to mind old-time USO performers or pinup girls. And while “boho” may be on its way out, minidresses and babydoll dresses (a la Twiggy or Edie, not Courtney Love) seem to be surfacing, too. Read on and embrace your femininity, soldiers!

IN
Tousled hair/loose waves
Flats, ballet and pointy-toed (yep, they’re still around)
Wedges
Pumps, round and peep-toed
Pencil skirts (in tweeds, plaids, wool, etc.)
“True waist" belts
Tights, especially worn with contrasting footwear (think mod)
Slouchy boots
Big buttons
Patent leather
The "industrial" look
Military-inspired, army green jackets and skirts
Navy coats
Big, flouncy skirts
Red lipstick
Hi-top Chucks
Green, navy blue, purple
Plaid
Gold jewelry
Suede shoes
Skinny jeans
Mini/babydoll dresses
Mary janes and T-strap shoes


OUT
Flat hair and flatirons
Extensions(!)
Sleeveless turtlenecks
Cowel-neck shirts and sweaters
Low-slung, woven belts
Pointy-toed, stiletto boots
Shoes with freakin’ bows on them
Metallic/lamé accessories (except for shoes)
Leggings (no exceptions!)
Really chunky platform shoes. (I don’t understand why Steve Madden tried to bring them back, see photo)
Cut-off denim skirts
Bubble skirts
Any kind of cropped pants (someone even ruled out pants altogether!)
Cowboy boots
Wooden/chunky plastic jewelry
Uggs (can’t believe it has to be said at this point)
That weird, teased/pulled-back bangs alien-head, ponytail thing

So You Think You Can Be AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL?

I so wish Maya Rudolph was the host of AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL (see photo for the best SNL spoof ever). I don't even know where to begin, but I'll start by saying that last night, Tyra's lips were purple and her forehead looked like a sunset. I wish I had a visual aid, but in some attempt to make her gargantuan forehead appear smaller, the genius makeup artists at ANTM appeared to have spraypainted a little orange around her hairline to make it somehow blend into her skin, you know, like a SUNSET! Aside from that, I don't understand how Tyra could tell models like Anchal (an Indian girl who wore light-colored contacts) and Monique (who was told by her family that she was too dark-skinned) to be themselves when she apparently has purple eyes and lips and a forehead painted like a sunset!

But I digress. The title of this episode was "The Girl Who Marks Her Territory." I was secretly hoping that we'd be treated to some FLAVOR OF LOVE-style defecation, but it was just Monique staking her claim on a bed. Under a giant poster of Tyra. As if there weren't hundreds of creepy Tyra posters all over the place. But mainly, I was underwhelmed by the season 7 crop. I always watch and think, "Haven't you seen this show before? The judges are gonna roast you for that!" So, if you are anything like me and my friends, you probably think you could do better, right? Well, I took the liberty of downloading the eligibility requirements for the show. Follow this checklist and see if you qualify:

1) Must be 18 to 27 years of age. (First the REAL WORLD, now this?)
2) Must be at least five feet and seven inches in height. (So close.)
3) You must be a US Citizen and live in the United States. (Uh... Wasn't Nenna here on a student visa?)
4) You must not have previous experience as a model in a national campaign within the last five years. (That stint on THE JANICE DICKINSON MODELING AGENCY doesn't count, right?)
5) You must be in excellent physical and mental health. (I guess Amy Poehler's one-legged model wouldn't qualify).
6) You understand and agree that you may be required to pose ... naked. (SWEET!)

So there you have it, if you're young, tall, mentally intact and ready to get nekked, you could be America's Next ... Top ... Mo ... de ... el.

How to Dress Like a Fashion Icon

The inspiration for this post is tomorrow's 16th Annual Night of a Thousand Stevies, the biggest tribute to rock and roll's queen gypsy, Stevie Nicks. Yours truly is actually going to dress up like La Nicks and has spent countless hours deliberating over fringe or no fringe, velvet or lace, 70s or 80s, platinum blonde or ash blonde, etc. Stevie had a lot of looks. And as anyone who's ever attended NOTS will attest, people LOVE to dress up like Stevie. According to designer Susan Childs of rockandrollgypsy.com, "I really do like to go to the mall (and other places) dressed up in Stevie style clothes and accessories." Susan sells beaded hair combs and other things on her site, and her stuff has even been featured in JANE magazine. Below is a timeline fashion tribute to Stevie (photos courtesy of The Nicks Fix and Rock Retrospect).

Above, ladies and gentleman, is the original Stevie Nicks. I'm guessing this was taken around 1974 or 1975, when Stevie and Lindsey Buckingham joined Fleetwood Mac. She's totally rockin' the platform sandals and bell bottoms, a look I doubt we ever saw onstage after this. And that hair is still kinda late 60s-bouffant style.
I call this one "Disco Stevie." This is back when she showed a little more skin, probably around the Rumours era when ballet fashion was very chic (and Stevies LOVES ballet). Also note that the hair's getting a little flatter and is more late 70s helmet head, like the calm before the Storm that was big 80s hair.
Beatnik Stevie is my absolute favorite. The choker and the big beret are key elements of late 70s/early 80s Stevie, along with the deep blue velvet. Also, notice how her makeup is totally natural and nails are perfect and painted an earth tone. A timeless look. Her hats, however, will get bigger and bigger over the years. I had trouble finding a Tusk-era tophat photo, but you get the idea.





This is Bella Donna Stevie, 1981. Behold and bow down to the ruched velvet boot cover. Who knew two pieces of velvet sewn together and ruched would look so fabulous over a BOOT? Stevie Nicks. Also note the bizarre headpiece, the afghan-sized shawl and how it's hard to tell where they end and the dress begins. Exactly.











Meet "Wild Heart" Stevie. I have this amazing t-shirt that says "Don't Blame Me, Blame It on my WILD HEART Tour '83." The Wild Heart record is sort of a darker Bella Donna and was released after the brief and problematic Fleetwood Mac reunion that created 1982's Mirage, which could explain her dark and mysterious look during this period, especially the cloak. Stevie will later learn that 80 square feet of velvet don't really hide you from the critics, Lindsey Buckingham's egomania or your serious cocaine addiction.



New Wave Stevie TERRIFIES me. This is a style I would never want to emulate and do not think is timeless. Can't you just picture her singing, "Do not turn A-way my friend!" Shoulderpads and teased bangs give me the heebie jeebies, as do those pointy fingernails! I believe she also wore a lot of corsets and crinoline skirts during this period, perhaps trying to a hide a little post-rehab bloat. Where was her velvet cloak then?




Which now brings us to the focus of Night of a Thousand Stevies, Red Stevie. As the NOTS invite suggests, The Other Side of the Mirror period has an Alice in Wonderland theme. The checkered floor in this pic certainly reminds me of Tom Petty's Alice-inspired video for "Don't Come Around Here No More." But the velvet dress is more "Last Dance With Mary Jane," if you ask me. Either way, red velvet Edwardian gowns marked this period, and Stevie even dyed her hair red at one point. I know I've left out a ton of things, especially the infamous batwing sleeves and the updo that looked like a big poofball on her head or various types of headgear, but there's only so much time for bloggin' Stevie's multidecade look. Enjoy the festivities, gypsies!

What's Your Vision for Spring?

SPRING is upon us! It's time to sip wine spritzers on the stoop and wear lightweight jackets with spring dresses and look fabulous. (Or fabu-LASH if wearing fake eyelashes is a part of your spring look, which it should!). It's a time to be inspired by the warmer weather, to overhaul your wardrobe and trade out the wool for the cotton. But sadly, I have very little inspiration for this season fashion-wise. I lack a cohesive VISION. But I urge readers to write into nowhiteafterlaborday@gmail.com with their spring vision and I'll include your comments in a future post.

That said, I can offer these few trend predictions:

1) Flats are still in, but with a slight twist. Instead of the super thin soles of last year's ballet flats, designers are making flats with a half-inch to an inch of wedge heel. Very cute, very vintage. Check out Steve Madden's Naddine (left) and Daeley styles. They're almost an exact replica of a woven-leather Nine West pair from the 80s that I found at a thrift store for $10. You'll see wood, faux-wood and espadrille bottoms on these new styles. As for heels, definitely wood and cork wedges, and in all colors.

2) Dresses, tops and skirts with BOLD, 60s-inspired prints. For dresses, I see this working with halters, shifts or wrap-around styles (a la Diane von Furstenberg). These prints might not work on everyone, so if you're worried about over-accentuating your curves, you might want to try just one bold print in a skirt or a scarf as an accent.

3) A great transitional piece for spring is a cap-sleeved or short-sleeved sweater. I'm picturing v-neck or boatneck. Wear these with jeans and flats under a jean jacket or blazer and they're perfect for work and for going out. They also look great with a miniskirt and flats or a long denim skirt and boots. A lot of these are in thrift stores now and I think they're going to be big this season. If they're slightly oversized, they look great with a wide belt slung low over a pair of straight leg jeans. I also think we're going to continue to see wifebeaters this season and a lot of tunic-style and/or belted tops, but let's hope the babydoll look will be kept to a minimum.

4) Chunky jewelry is still around, both in neutral and bold colors. The key is to not overload. Pick one chunky bangle or beaded necklace as an accent piece to an otherwise lowkey outfit. I saw this girl on the subway the other day who looked absolutely adorable in a black fitted jacket and camisole over dark jeans paired with a white belt, white pointy-toed flats and a chunky, turquoise beaded necklace. The necklace was the only splash of color in her ensemble and she just looked so cute and cool! Wherever you are, Ms. Thing on the L-Train, I salute you!

OK, that's all I have for now! please send ideas. And pics!

From Rags to Riches: Urban Outfitters’ Spring Collection

If you’ve been to Urban Outfitters lately, you may have noticed what Trend Consultant refers to as TMT, short for TOO MUCH TREND. If you’re not sure of where there is an Urban near you, just listen for the irritating sound of gold-painted metal banging against plastic (i.e., cheap jewelry) and you’ll find the Overpriced Bohemian Pirate Gear Superstore!



Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not opposed to layering complimentary pieces or to wearing some of the swishy, flowing skirts and long, beaded necklaces you see around, but there comes a point when it’s just too much. Hence, the fitting term TMT. I’m referring to Urban’s displays of bohemian-style layers upon layers, regardless of whether the colors or prints are complimentary in any way, with layers of even more mismatched, obviously cheap jewelry piled on top. Throw on a vest and Voila! You’re wearing the ultimate in raglady chic. That’s another thing I’ve noticed -- most of Urban’s new styles look like a bunch of rags sewn together. (See photos).

Which brings me to another topic: Urban’s “Renewal Couture” line. From what I gather, this involves two things: (1) vintage pieces, relevant or not, with a fancy label (e.g., “70s Day Dress”) and price tag (e.g., $80.000, as one tag was clearly mislabeled, and (2) old pieces hastily stitched onto other ones – sometimes with a zipper and sometimes without – also attached to a high price tag. The green/pink number pictured on the right was priced at $198. The top has no back and I believe the pink sash (?) is sold separately.

Now, why would I drop $80 on a dress that looks something my grandmother was buried in? And even if I wanted a dress like that, I’d go to an actual THRIFT STORE (yeah, remember those?) and find one for under $20.

Urban is still good for a few things, however. My roommate and I walked out with a totally cute and affordable burnt orange carpet for our living room, and we scoured the sale racks (which are now an additional 50% off the sale price!) and came up with some really decent pieces. I paid $15 for one of those lacy, vintage-like capelets that I thought might top off a strappy sundress for the office. Although one friend said it looked like something that someone might bring you back from a foreign country and you’re like, “Uh, thanks, dude.” Or as Trend Consultant calls it, “something that looks like it came from ‘Target World Bazaar.’ ”

The sale rack’s also got some of those gaucho pants, ladies, if you wish to sport reverse cameltoe again this season;)

You Can’t Always Get What You Want (Even in New York)

I give up. I can’t take it anymore. It’s the first week in January, everyone’s having a sale and I can’t find a goddamn pair of black boots to save my life. Not that they’re not out there. But it’s just that I’m looking for the perfect pair of black boots. And so is every New Yorker, at least according to the overwhelming number of responses to our Fall Fashion Survey from readers with their own vision of the right black boots.

When No White After Labor Day sent out our 10-question survey in October, readers responded that they were looking for…
“Flat black boots. They have been my holy grail. But I think I saw my pair today at Camper. Maybe. Otherwise, the search continues.” Ideal outfit for said boots? “Tights, corduroy skirt, sweater vest, button down.“ Two months later, our friend never found such boots. “Either they were too expensive and they weren’t exactly what I wanted for the money, or they just weren’t ‘it’…So you could say I shifted my focus to cowboy boots, which were easy to find on eBay.”

Another reader said she felt it was time to say good-bye to her black leather pointy-toed boots. What did she eventually pass them up for? A pair of pointy-toed brown embellished cowboy boots found on eBay.

And to quote another: “I’m searching for a pair of black boots with a slight heel – maybe one or two inches – that come up to just an inch below the knee, fitted around the calf. I think they’ll look great paired with gauchos or long skirts. Yes, a good pair of black boots…I’m still on the search for them!” Two months later… "I found a decent pair at Aldo's…. They are still maybe not my dream pair of black boots, but I may be getting closer to finding them. They were only $100, which isn't bad for a good pair of black boots. Aldo actually had a good selection when I was there. I was opting for the nicest pair at the cheapest price.”

Here’s a sad tale from another New Yorker on a mission: “I buy a pair and wear them until they disintegrate on my feet. Last spring, my boots of the last four years broke and thus did my heart. If anyone knows where I can find black leather boots with about a two-inch heel, extra narrow in the foot and calf, completely original and high-quality (preferably Italian) and for under $200, call me immediately.” Two months later… “I still haven't found the damn boots. I feel vertically challenged and a little scruffy in my internally-shredded old Daffy's special (which were far from perfect to begin with, but how can you argue with $23 boots?!)”

These are just a handful of testimonials I’ve gotten from disgruntled boot seekers. And I remain one of them. I think one of the main problems people have with finding the right boot is the heel height. I know a lot of girls who are looking for flat boots that are still cute and feminine or one- to two- inch boots that aren't "biker" boots, for example. I briefly fell in love with the boots pictured above, but when I realized they measured higher than three inches, I knew it wasn't meant to be. I also had a decent Lord & Taylor special, which were also not perfect to begin with, but they served their purpose until a tragic accident involving a broken zipper, some fishnets, an overzealous Stevie Nicks fan and an impatient boyfriend who had to literally rip one apart to get it off my leg.

So, what should we do?

Aldo has a pretty wide variety of black boots this season but their sale prices are still starting at $100. Kenneth Cole has a brand new line called Tribeca that has some affordable boot options, but they’re hard to find. I’ve seen them on Zappos and macys.com.
Then, of course, there’s eBay, which we all know has its pros (great deals if you bid smart, totally unique finds) and cons (bitchy sellers, bitchy bidders, potential quality fraud and rules). And you may find the perfect boot, but what was a size 9 in the 70s may be more like an 8.5 today or you may get caught in a bidding war with shopgirl69 or something like that.
Or as my boyfriend suggested, “Go down to Soho with your credit card.”
“Not even,” chimed in my roommate. “I’m about to start jumping people for their boots.”
“What is the perfect pair of black boots anyway?” he asks.
“I feel like I’ll know them when I see them.”
‘Nuff said.

Stay classy, ladies. To be continued…